


never been in love (before you)

by teutonic



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Canon-Typical Behavior, Fluff, M/M, Mild Language, Minor spoilers for 12x08: The Gang Tends Bar, Pining, pining Dennis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-16 22:14:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10580556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teutonic/pseuds/teutonic
Summary: Dennis tenses, but he obliges and turns back to face her, running an anxious hand through his hair. “I think I’m in love with Mac.”There’s a pause, in which Dennis reluctantly meets Dee’s gaze and she stands there, stunned, before cracking an amused grin. Dennis clearly doesn’t appreciate it, because he turns away with an annoyed sigh, but Dee says, “Holyshit. I mean, I’m not gonna lie, I kinda thought you called me because some girl left you handcuffed to your bed or something, but you’re inlove?Jesus christ.”(Or: Dennis realizes he's in love with Mac and isn't very happy about it.)





	

When Dee arrives at Dennis and Mac’s apartment, she is suitably furious. It’s practically ass o’clock in the morning, morning traffic was a bitch, and Dennis was apparently throwing a fit. He’d called her four times, left three voicemails, and when she finally picked up, he’d whined at her until she agreed to come over. She still had no idea what he wanted, he’d been annoyingly vague about it, but at least he’d agreed to stop calling as long as she stopped by his apartment.

When Dennis opens the door at her second knock, she pushes past him and into the apartment, turning around and levelling a glare at him. The sight of him gives her momentary pause. He looks more stressed than usual, brows pinched and skin peakish. Mac clearly isn’t here — last she heard he spent the night at Charlie and Frank’s place last night — which means Dennis probably wasn’t forced into eating breakfast, either.

None of this is enough to distract her from her irritation, though. “So what the hell is your problem, you dick? Run out of your favorite mascara again? I told you, I don’t have any more, and even if I did, I’m not giving it to you. That shit’s expensive.”

Dennis barely seems to notice the insults, which is red flag number two (three?). Instead, he simply breezes past her, rubbing a hand down his arm and frowning irritably. “What? No, I don’t need — Jesus, Dee, just listen,” he says, “I know you noticed something was up with me at the bar last night, and, uh. I guess you’re right “ A pause, and then: “I mean, definitely don’t get used to it. This is a one-time thing, okay?”

Dee blinks, because yeah, Dennis had been a little cagey last night, but she’d written it off as a weird side-effect of the medication. Dennis doesn’t seem to notice her surprise, because he plows ahead, “It’s just, I can’t tell you what it is.” He turns away, clearly torn, before turning back, “But I should. No, it’s — I can’t. But, y’know, I should, right? Actually, nevermind, it’s really not a big deal. Just go to the bar, I’ll be there later.”

“Oh my god, just say it,” Dee exclaims. She’s feeling much more awake now, curiosity provoked by a seemingly new side to this asshole brother of hers. She’s never seen him like this, unless you count the time he met Jackie Denardo, but that had involved a lot more silent fumbling. This little meltdown was anything but silent.

Dennis tenses, but he obliges and turns back to face her, running an anxious hand through his hair. “I think I’m in love with Mac.”

There’s a pause, in which Dennis reluctantly meets Dee’s gaze and she stands there, stunned, before cracking an amused grin. Dennis clearly doesn’t appreciate it, because he turns away with an annoyed sigh, but Dee says, “Holy _shit._  I mean, I’m not gonna lie, I kinda thought you called me because some girl left you handcuffed to your bed or something, but you’re in _love_ _?_  Jesus christ.”

Dennis offers a mocking and exaggerated laugh before scowling at her, displeased with her reaction, “You’re so fucking funny, Dee! So funny! Isn’t this _funny?"_

And, alright, he’s clearly losing his temper, so Dee holds up her hands placatingly and attempts to stifle her grin. “Chill out, jesus. Y’know, it’s actually kind of sweet.”

Dennis flinches like she’s punched him, or like maybe he’s about to throw up. “It’s not _sweet,”_ he says, disgusted. “It’s… Jesus, it’s a pain in the ass, Dee. It’s annoying.” He’s good with words, Mac always says so, but after a brief scramble for more fitting adjectives he just whines, “And… And gross. For god’s sake, it’s like the guy comes out of the closet, and I just… caught _feelings_. Like a disease.”

“He came out of the closet like two weeks ago,” Dee offers doubtfully, and the look that Dennis sends her is positively venomous. She ignores it. “You sure these little ‘feelings’ of yours haven’t been around longer?”

“Holy shit, Dee, I didn’t call you over here for a fucking interrogation! I don’t know, okay? What does it matter?”

What does it _matter?_ Dee wants to say, incredulous, but she’s willing to let it slide, if only because Dennis is in seriously rare form today and she doesn’t actually want him to kick her out. “Whatever. Either way, you don’t _catch_ feelings, you emotionally stunted weirdo.” She pauses, because to be honest she’s a little shaky on the details sometimes herself. She’s never denied having feelings unlike a certain idiot brother of hers, but she’s not always the best at handling them.  “You just, y’know, have them. I mean, shit, you’re the one with all those big feelings, right?”

The reminder of his little impromptu Valentine’s Day speech earns her another glare, and seriously, if looks could kill, she’d be dead five times over by now. Luckily, she’s a pro when it comes to ignoring her brother’s dirty looks, or at least she tries to be. “Whatever, doesn’t matter,” she allows generously, “The point is, these _feelings_ of yours are supposed to be good things, right? So what’s the problem?”

" _Good?"_   he asks, like she’s an idiot, and at least that tone is a little more familiar. “They’re terrible. I can’t — I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. That asshole’s all I think about. Like a… Like a _parasite_. I close my eyes, I see him. I-I hear a song, I think of him.” He sounds disgusted, like he’s describing the symptoms of some weird virus that hemorrhages your asshole, but Dee’s distracted when a guy with dark hair and muscular arms steps out of the bathroom and waltzes out of the apartment with a brief farewell. He winks at Dennis as he leaves, but her brother either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care, because he barely reacts.  

Once the door has closed behind Mysterious Beefcake (who looks alarmingly like Mac, Dee realizes), Dee turns a startled look on Dennis, but he continues along like he hasn’t noticed. “I fuck that guy,” he says, waving a hand in the vague direction of the front door, “I think of Mac.”

“You,” Dee says, but she pauses for a moment to collect her thoughts before rubbing the bridge of her nose in exasperation. “Jesus _christ_. You can’t be serious.”

Dennis glances at her, confused and irritated with the interruption, and when he doesn’t offer anything else in the way of a response, Dee punches his shoulder. “Seriously, asshole? I thought you loved Mac?”

Dee’s never been a stranger to sleeping around with random guys and gals, but she’s never really been “in love” either. She kinda figured the whole romance thing might lessen the appeal of one night stands, but considering who she’s talking to, maybe that was a fool’s gamble.

“Wh — I do!” Dennis complains, rubbing at his shoulder where he’s just been hit, “What, I’m not allowed to sleep around? To grace men and women alike with this? Come on, Dee, don’t be such a dumb bitch. It’s not a good look for you.”

Dee’s tempted to hit him again, but god damn it, she’s been stuck dealing with Mac and Dennis’ pining for years now, she’s not about to let her asshole of a brother ruin it just because he’s a dick. “My _point_ , asshole, was that you know how Mac gets. You think he’d be okay with his boyfriend fucking other guys?”

“Pfft,” Dennis interrupts, loud and amused, “ _B_ _oyfriend?_ Who said I wanted to be Mac’s _boyfriend?"_   He stands up, walking into the kitchen as if to escape the conversation, but Dee follows.

There’s a grin on Dennis’ face as if he’s trying to mock her for misunderstanding, but she knows a deflection when she sees one. Still, she’s clearly going to have to hold this idiot’s hand through this, so she says, “Uh, okay. So what _do_ you want?”

It’s like she opened the god damn crybaby floodgates, because Dennis sags against the wall like he’s a marionette with cut strings. “I don’t _know._ I just, y’know, I wanna be near him,” he whines, and he must really be desperate if he’s willing to admit this to her without any alcohol in his system. “I wanna, like, hold his hand, that kind of shit. I wanna hear about his stupid fucking day, even though I’m always there for most of it, and I wanna tell him about mine.”

“Holy shit,” Dee repeats, because _holy shit_. She knew her brother was a sensitive ass, but this is taking things to a new, weird level. She supposes she’s happy for him, deep down, for coming this far or whatever, but right now she’s mostly amused. She thinks she might laugh, if only because this is nearly as weird for her as it must be for Dennis and she’s never really been one for emotional progression.

Her delight at her brother’s expense must be noticeable, because he tries valiantly to rally, pushing himself away from the wall and crossing his arms. “But that doesn’t mean I want to be his _boyfriend_. We’re not middle schoolers, Dee.”

“Right. Well, you just described a relationship, dumbass,” Dee provides, smirking at her brother’s frustration. “A disgustingly clingy one.”  

Dennis opens his mouth, probably to protest or say something stupid, but Dee speaks over him, “And uh, to be honest, it kind of sounds like what you two creeps have going on now. Just without the, y’know. The gay handholding part.”

Dennis looks as if she’s offended him to his core, but luckily he doesn’t protest again. He just sighs mutinously, glancing over Dee’s shoulder and refusing to meet her gaze. She’s willing to wait him out, though, if only because it’s just that much longer she doesn’t have to be at work. Finally, predictably, he cracks. “Look, Dee. I didn’t call you over to harp at me like some goddamn bird —” ( _Ah_ , Dee thinks distantly, _there it is._ _Ten minutes in, what a record._ ) “— so are you going to help me or not?”

Dee’s not sure what he means by “help,” and she’s not entirely sure she wants to know, but she figures it can’t be too bad. If she was able to coax these two idiots through their weird little break up a few years back, she can handle anything.

“Fine. But you owe me, asshole.”

**Author's Note:**

> hmu @ dennisreynclds.tumblr.com!!
> 
> chapter 1 is based on a scene from himym, but chapters 2-3 will be new material! this fic is going to have so much pining i swear to god
> 
> dedicated to coy and taylor!! ty guys for talking about this w/ me!! ily


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